I remember 2005 fondly. I had been separated for over a year, but felt extremely positive. I could literally feel that things were coming together.
For starters I was no longer sleeping (well pretending to sleep) in the foetal position. Food no longer tasted like cardboard and scotch no longer tasted like salvation.
Looking back it was the year I grabbed the reins of my life and took control of the horse called My Life.
I went back to school, changed my job, made new friends and returned to a hobby that I loved.
Surely it was onwards and upwards from there on - right? Right?
Well fast forward several years and I was right. Kind of. I got myself a new career, found an amazing circle of friends (still expanding but with the good people still hanging around) and my kids are absolutely amazing, except for when they're being...well, you know...kids.
But along comes 2012 and the horse has stalled. I'm shaking the reins furiously and short of whipping the horse (not something I'm keen on) nothing much is happening. The horse has balked at the jump.
So I sit here now trying to figure out how to get over the hurdle. How do I think outside the square to get the horse moving again. Do I walk the long way around the jump and get behind in "the race" or do I sit and wait for the horse to decide when it's okay to jump?
Part of me is screaming (on the inside) for the horse to just do what I damn well want it to do. The other, more zen-like part of me is wondering if the horse knows something I don't and maybe rushing the jump isn't a good idea.
So I'm stuck in the horse analogy and at life - hanging on to the saddle for dear life and hoping the horse knows what it's doing, because even though I know I'm only the one competing - I'd still like to finish the race, or at least get to the next hurdle.
