Saturday 4 February 2012

Oh no you didn't...

I recently had a night out with some great girlfriends.  We drove a couple of hours away from the city and spent the night in a lovely, little country pub.  The night started with tonnes of laughs on the drive up and capped off by a beautiful dinner in a quaint restaurant in the middle of nowhere.  .

We then moved on to a big country pub where we met up with a few more friends.  Hilariously, karaoke was the speciality of the night.  With a few bevies under the belt for a bit of dutch courage, nearly everyone in the group got up and showed off the inner rock star.  With voices ranging from "I can barely hold a tune" to "Holy crap you should try out for a reality singing competition tv show" everyone was having a barrel of laughs.

Lots of dancing was going on, both during and in between perfomances.  Tonnes of laughs and funny stories shared, new friends made and old friends bumped into.

It was an eclectic bunch of people from all walks of life and all ages that ended up being crowded into the little back bar in an Aussie country town.  No one was overly concerned that their hair wasn't perfect, their make up had slid down their face slightly and they had a slight sheen of sweat from dancing in the pub where the airconditioner struggled to keep the place cool.  This wasn't a hip, trendy little boho bar full of posers taking photos with their smartphones and pulling duck faces thinking it looked sexy (which, by the way, doesn't). If you went to the loo it was to pee, not to re-do your face so you look photoshop perfect for your upcoming facebook status.

This was unpretentious pub with a front bar full of old men who have sat on the same stool for 40 years, a dining room where you could a get a decent feed, families spilling onto the sidewalk with the kids running around with red, hot, happy faces and a little space out the back for wanna-be rock stars.

All in all the night had been a total hoot and one to remember with great one liners, moves like Jagger, and a brilliantly off-key rendition of Paradise by the Dashboard Light sung with gusto by a much loved up and very cute younger couple.

It was 20 minutes to closing and the bartender had yelled last drinks and the lights were slowly coming up when it happened.  It may sound like nothing to you but it's exactly what pisses me off about going out.

I felt an arm close around my body and a sweaty armpit press up against my side.  The gesture was incredibly familiar.  The way I was being touched is the way I would expect only a partner, family member or very close friend to touch me.  I turned to look into the eyes of a complete stranger.  A drunk, sweaty man who grinned self-assuredly at me.  I raised an eyebrow in haughty disbelief.  He loosened his hold a little but still kept his unwanted arm around me.  I moved away and turned my face away from him.  To me, a clear sign he could move on and leave me be.  But no, that wasn't to be.  He then asked if he could buy me a drink.  I looked him directly in the eyes and said in a calm but firm voice "no thank you".  He said "Hey I came over here to chat you up.  You look like a 'friendly' girl to me."  The emphasis on 'friendly' and his tone clearly indicated that what he really thought was 'easy'.  His body language and tone made it clear he thought he was doing me a favour by talking to me.  I replied "Well. Appearances can be deceiving can't they?" My tone clearly indicated that his attentions were unwelcome. I won't go into details about the dead end conversation that followed, but I eventually made it clear that I wasn't interested and he moved away and bitched to his friend that I was a stuck up whore. Nice.

I don't have many rules in my life - but manners are one of them.  Oh yeah these two are pretty important to me as well.

Rule No.1  Don't approach me at closing time.  I've been there all night, you had plenty of time to get to know me during the evening and discover I'm not a girl with low self-esteem waiting for you to arrive just before midnight and make my night.

Rule No.2  Don't touch me unless I've said it's okay.  I appreciate that people may differ on this one.  But for me, getting up in my personal space and touching me with familiarity is NOT okay unless I know you really well.

When you break these rules (or simple manners as I prefer to think of them) you're telling me you have no respect for me as a person.  You're telling me all you want is a one night, no questions asked, get up in the morning, never see you again encounter.   And I'm not okay with that.  Because I wasn't put on this earth to be your one night play thing.  So treat me with respect thanks.  That's all I'm asking.