I haven't blogged in ages. Partly because life has been busy and partly because I haven't felt the need to share.
But I've been in my head a lot lately and that's not a good thing. The above quote is quite relevant to me right now and I've been guilty of doing it. But I know I'm learning, because instead of truly distancing myself and losing the people that matter - I actually spoke to them and explained how I was feeling. (Well it was one person actually...)
Anyway, it turns out that they too have been struggling with anxiety, and feeling it in a different way, and dealing with it in a different way.
I am surrounded by people all the time - yet feel isolated and alone. They feel like they're surrounded all the time and emotionally crowded - even when they're not. I was deliberately creating distance when what I needed was connection. They were unable to disconnect when they needed distance.
I don't think many people would have even realised that we were/are struggling with anxiety as we both have excellent game faces. In fact, although I knew something was "off" between us, I couldn't place my finger on what. So I'm glad that I pushed past my anxiety and burgeoning paranoia and bluntly asked if everything was okay between us. Now we understand each other better, can support each other how we need to and have taken care of our friendship.
