Nothing like a bit of Fleetwood Mac for inspiration. That was our encore song for our cabaret show, Love Lust & Everything in Between. Yep. Cabaret Show. Let me backtrack 12 months.
I was sharing a coffee with my friend Celeste and we were bemoaning the fact that people around us see us as one particular way and we're feeling frustrated knowing that there is more to us than people see. BUT, and here's the difference....instead of just having a whine about it and continuing on with our lives as they were, we decided to CHANGE our worlds. Everyone thought we were mad. No one thought we could do it. Lots of people said it was a mistake. Some people said we were brave (but the intonation was "cray-cray")
Discussions around a kitchen table turned a dream into a plan and another friend joined our team, Barbara.
The music came first. And then from the music, came a story. From the story came a script. From a script came a talent call out. Some answered no, some answered yes. Those that answered yes, put their faith into the hands of amateurs with a trust I didn't know really existed. Suddenly we were five, with Jess and Gus on board.
Meetings around a kitchen table became instructions to cast members. Rehearsals in a hall soon got changed to rehearsals in a kitchen with a dining table and a rug pushed back against the windows. A couple of practices with a band on a hot summers day in a boiling hot garage and we had a working "practice cd". More rehearsals in a kitchen with two boys listening from the lounge room and offering "criticism".
A venue was found, a sound technician came on board, lights were borrowed, insurances checked and all that remained was the necessary audience.
The date grew closer. Tickets were handed out to our cast and friends, family, work colleagues were alternately begged, coerced, bribed and pleaded with to buy tickets. Finally, we had enough sales to cover costs. Phew. Met the required number of 85.
Time crept up on us and before we knew it the day had arrived. A flurry of last minute tickets were bought and at 132 seats, the show was officially a sell out. SHIT. Now we really, truly have to be good.
Bump in occurs. Lines forgotten, songs off key, performers ill. Power cords missing. Surely it will be a disaster?
5:30 pm rocks around and the crowd is early. Tickets say DOORS OPEN AT 6PM but people are early. Cast is not ready. PANIC. PANIC. PANIC. For better or worse LOVE, LUST & EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN is on.
Hearts, pounding, voices lifted, characters on display. It's happening people. I can't even describe the performance. But those who have performed know that it's a kind of magic, when it's right and the next two hours for us, are magical.
8:45. Show's over. Bows taken. Thanks are read out to all who helped and supported and then finally I say "Tonight was our Dream...and when it comes to Love, and Dreaming, don't stop. The band plays our final song and with joy and exuberance we sing our hearts out to the people who came to see us. I can see mobile phones being waved in the air (the way lighters used to be) I can see people on their feet dancing with us, singing with us, I can see clapping and cheering and stomping and the world stops for just a little bit.
We did it. From merely a seed, we grew something amazing and we changed our world. I will forever be proud of this achievement.
Tuesday 21 May 2013
World's Most Okayest Mum
So, there's one of those posts going around on facebook at the moment which makes me want fill people's feeds with a facebook rant...oh wait I have a blog for that.
This is what it says "Anyone can call themselves a parent, but a REAL parent puts their children's lives before their own selfish needs and wants".
OH FFS. GET REAL PEOPLE. This is just one of those Judgy McJudgster from Judgeville posts that is judgemental and designed to make other people feel bad. Why do you want to do that?
First of all, by it's very definition a NEED isn't selfish.
I NEED air, water, food, shelter. How is that selfish and how does that make me a bad parent?
I NEED to work. I'm a single parent. If I don't work, I don't get the food, water, shelter part of my first need. How is that selfish and how does that make me a bad parent?
Oh that's right it's NOT and it DOESN'T.
Secondly, wanting things isn't selfish. You are ALLOWED to want things. It doesn't mean you always get them - but it is NOT bad parenting to want things.
I want a job I love. I'm lucky I have one. It's not selfish of me nor does it make me a bad parent to aim to have this. If you don't currently have this yourself and WANT this for yourself, it doesn't make you a bad parent. You know what it is - it's GOOD. It teaches your children about determination, hard work and the satisfaction of a job well done.
I want friends in my life. It's not selfish of me, nor does it make me a bad parent to have them. I'm lucky. I have many good friends. You know what it is - it's GOOD. It teaches my children that I value different people, with different lives, different experiences and it teaches them that I am a person OUTSIDE of "mum".
I want hobbies in my life. It's not selfish of me, nor does it make me a bad parent to have them. I'm lucky. I have a great hobby. It's musical theatre. You know what it is - it's GOOD. It teaches my children about creative expression, belonging to a team, working together and being part of a community.
I want to live in my own house and be financially secure. It's not selfish of me, nor does it make me a bad parent. I have neither. I'm renting and my job (which I love) is "casual". I work every day of the week, but I'm a casual employee. I'm working towards making it full time and I'm saving my hardest to one day have enough to put a deposit on a house. You know what it is - it's GOOD. It teaches my kids that you can't always get what you want - but that it's okay to keep trying and it's good to work towards goals.
Do my kids sometimes have to sit in a cafe while I catch up with my friends? Yes. They do. They learn about manners, they learn about appropriate behaviour in social situations, they learn about the give and take of friendships.
Do my kids sometimes have to attend rehearsals while I'm doing a show? Yes. They do. They learn that chasing dreams does NOT have an age limit. They learn that being passionate about something in life fills up your emotional cup (so to speak) which then allows you to fill others.
Do my kids sometimes see me scratch my head and get stressed about how to pay the bills? Do my kids see me budget and say no to things because I can't afford them? Yes. They do. They learn to live within their means. They learn financial responsibility. They learn money doesn't grow on trees. They learn that you have to earn the money to pay the bills and that sometimes you have to go without. They learn delayed gratification.
Do I work my arse off to give them the best education I can? Yes. Do I make sure they have extracurricular activities outside school that they can enjoy? Yes. Do I make sure they catch up with friends and family so they can value those relationships? Yes. Do I make sure they are fed, clothed, cleaned and sufficiently rested to stay healthy? Yes.
Do I give my kids everything they want at my expense? HELL NO. What the hell would that teach them? It would give them a sense of entitlement they shouldn't have. It would teach them that they are the centre of the universe and they're not. They are two people on a planet with over 7 billion other people. If I did that I would be raising two of the most selfish, arrogant, egotistical, ill-mannered, boring poopyholes to roam the earth. THAT'S BAD PARENTING.
I want to raise compassionate, empathetic, reasonable, logical, kind, passionate, loyal, loving, considerate men. That starts with me showing them about life with all its needs and wants - and I can't do that if I don't have one.
This is what it says "Anyone can call themselves a parent, but a REAL parent puts their children's lives before their own selfish needs and wants".
OH FFS. GET REAL PEOPLE. This is just one of those Judgy McJudgster from Judgeville posts that is judgemental and designed to make other people feel bad. Why do you want to do that?
First of all, by it's very definition a NEED isn't selfish.
I NEED air, water, food, shelter. How is that selfish and how does that make me a bad parent?
I NEED to work. I'm a single parent. If I don't work, I don't get the food, water, shelter part of my first need. How is that selfish and how does that make me a bad parent?
Oh that's right it's NOT and it DOESN'T.
Secondly, wanting things isn't selfish. You are ALLOWED to want things. It doesn't mean you always get them - but it is NOT bad parenting to want things.
I want a job I love. I'm lucky I have one. It's not selfish of me nor does it make me a bad parent to aim to have this. If you don't currently have this yourself and WANT this for yourself, it doesn't make you a bad parent. You know what it is - it's GOOD. It teaches your children about determination, hard work and the satisfaction of a job well done.
I want friends in my life. It's not selfish of me, nor does it make me a bad parent to have them. I'm lucky. I have many good friends. You know what it is - it's GOOD. It teaches my children that I value different people, with different lives, different experiences and it teaches them that I am a person OUTSIDE of "mum".
I want hobbies in my life. It's not selfish of me, nor does it make me a bad parent to have them. I'm lucky. I have a great hobby. It's musical theatre. You know what it is - it's GOOD. It teaches my children about creative expression, belonging to a team, working together and being part of a community.
I want to live in my own house and be financially secure. It's not selfish of me, nor does it make me a bad parent. I have neither. I'm renting and my job (which I love) is "casual". I work every day of the week, but I'm a casual employee. I'm working towards making it full time and I'm saving my hardest to one day have enough to put a deposit on a house. You know what it is - it's GOOD. It teaches my kids that you can't always get what you want - but that it's okay to keep trying and it's good to work towards goals.
Do my kids sometimes have to sit in a cafe while I catch up with my friends? Yes. They do. They learn about manners, they learn about appropriate behaviour in social situations, they learn about the give and take of friendships.
Do my kids sometimes have to attend rehearsals while I'm doing a show? Yes. They do. They learn that chasing dreams does NOT have an age limit. They learn that being passionate about something in life fills up your emotional cup (so to speak) which then allows you to fill others.
Do my kids sometimes see me scratch my head and get stressed about how to pay the bills? Do my kids see me budget and say no to things because I can't afford them? Yes. They do. They learn to live within their means. They learn financial responsibility. They learn money doesn't grow on trees. They learn that you have to earn the money to pay the bills and that sometimes you have to go without. They learn delayed gratification.
Do I work my arse off to give them the best education I can? Yes. Do I make sure they have extracurricular activities outside school that they can enjoy? Yes. Do I make sure they catch up with friends and family so they can value those relationships? Yes. Do I make sure they are fed, clothed, cleaned and sufficiently rested to stay healthy? Yes.
Do I give my kids everything they want at my expense? HELL NO. What the hell would that teach them? It would give them a sense of entitlement they shouldn't have. It would teach them that they are the centre of the universe and they're not. They are two people on a planet with over 7 billion other people. If I did that I would be raising two of the most selfish, arrogant, egotistical, ill-mannered, boring poopyholes to roam the earth. THAT'S BAD PARENTING.
I want to raise compassionate, empathetic, reasonable, logical, kind, passionate, loyal, loving, considerate men. That starts with me showing them about life with all its needs and wants - and I can't do that if I don't have one.
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