You can't always get what you want...

And maybe, just maybe that's a good thing.

I'm watching the women around me fall one by one.  I wish I could say falling in love but I can't.  I'm watching their descent into madness.  They are all turning into modern day Ophelia's due to their particular Hamlet's torture.

It's particularly frustrating because they're all intelligent women. But it seems the moment Hamlet turns up spouting To Be Or Not To Be (in a relationship) they all start acting like Helena Bonham-Carter at her most crazy.

Why is this question so hard?  Why does it drive women to the brink? Why do men seem to find the question so difficult?  Surely you either do want to be in one or you don't.  If you do, tell the girl. If you don't, tell the girl.  Trust me.  We can handle that.  It's the dithering back and forth that turns us into over-analytical lunatics.  All we want to know is are you in or out?  It's not difficult at all.

Why are men so scared to say the truth?  I know, from personal experience, that hearing "I don't know what I want" was harder than learning the truth.  Actually, I never heard the truth.  I got tired of what "I don't know what I want" was doing to me.  So after months of hearing that -  I made the decision to end things.  It was hard, there were tears.  But I stood in front of the man I (at that point) still loved and said THIS. IS OVER. I did it because I wanted my sanity back. I wanted my self-respect back.  I wanted me back.

I'm watching three women in my life, all dating "nice" guys.  I've met them.  They're charming. They're intelligent.  They're employed.  They're ambitious. They're fun to be around.  But all of them are running scared and the women are going crazy trying to guess the truth.  I'm currently involved in three separate discussions all titled "What do you think he meant when he said...."

Now I'm not saying the women are right and the men are wrong.  I'm just saying I don't understand the game. To me hearing "I don't know" from a man means "I don't know how to tell you I don't want to be in a relationship but I'm scared you'll make a scene if I say so".

I do know this.  I'm not wasting time on any "I don't knows" because I do know what I want and I intend to have it.  A happy life.