This my gay pretend-husband and I at our joint birthday/pretend-wedding celebration. Or as our friends know it - Bec and Daniel celebrating being Bec and Daniel. I'm a straight 44 year old woman. He's a gay 27 year old man - and we're besties.
There really is nothing quite like the friendship between a gay man and a straight woman. It's not quite siblings, it's not quite friends, it's not quite lovers, but at the same time it's also kind of all three at once (without the sex). Okay, okay, I'm willing to admit - maybe this is like this, just for us.
I can be myself around him. Warts and all. There's no judgement. Maybe it's because he's gay and he's faced judgement in his life and he's determined not to inflict that on others. (Okay - with one exception - he'll judge what I'm wearing. But normally his fashion advice is spot on.) Is that stereotypical? I don't know. I trust him to be honest with me. He'll let me know if an outfit is working or not. Clearly the outfit in this photo totally works....for a dress up party.
We watch Disney films together and sing all the parts (sometimes he's the girl - we switch according to the key range). This embarrasses my kids, but we love it. We go to the movies together and we watch musicals and action adventure equally.
He drinks wine, I drink beer, we both like scotch a lot. We love a quiet Friday night in eating pizza in our trakkies as much as getting all glammed up for a fabulous new bar. We both LOVE food. To excess. We're both happy to rub each other's bellies when we've over-eaten all the good stuff. Cheese. OMG we both love cheese.
I can talk to him about anything to do with sex (SEXY TIME QUESTIONS is the funnest game ever.) We argue about politics, we ramble on about tv shows, we randomly sing songs at each other. We can look at each other from across the room and know what each other is thinking. Sometimes I feel like we're two halves of the same coin. His wonderful partner Simon, has said to me that he knew when he came on the scene that he had to pass muster with me if Daniel and he were to work out. If ever someone comes on the scene for me - well they'll have to pass muster with Daniel. He trusts me to see what he can't and vice versa. He messages me during the day and sometimes we even message each other the same message at exactly the same time. We're HILARIOUS with the back and forth. Others may not think so, but as he'd say "they'd be wrong".
I've had a rough trot with friends in the past. Sometimes I've had friends that seem to be in competition with me. I'm not sure what we're competing for. Sometimes I've had friends who only seem to be there for the successes and not the failures. They haven't lasted long. Sometimes I've had friends who are only interested in what they can get from me and never give back. Actually, now that I think about it I'm not sure any of the above qualifies as friendship.
But with Daniel I feel equal, I feel accepted, I feel loved. So I just want to celebrate him for a bit. And as he'll tell you - he's worth it.
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